But now that I’ve watched it, I think it’s the greatest movie ever made! And all I had to do to enjoy the movie was get a lobotomy.
But lobotomies are expensive I hear you say, well you’re in luck hypothetical reader, because I will now tell you how you can give yourself a lobotomy all in the comforts of your own home!
First, you need to get your hands on a pair of chopsticks or any similar stick like instrument. Next locate the entry point which would be the tear ducts near the bridge of your nose.
Now clutching each chopstick on each hand tightly, insert the sharp end of the chopsticks into the eye, after a few inches you should be able to feel a soft material that is your brain. At this point, you may find yourself losing your motor skills or other bodily function, fret not! This just means its working.
Continue until you hit something hard, this would be the top of your skull.
If your body is not convulsing violently in a seizure, you would have to then move the chopsticks side to side until the soft material turns into liquid.
Congratulations! You have performed a lobotomy on yourself. You can now receive the mentally disabled concession when traveling on public transport, apply for a free stay at a mental facility and enjoy movies like Transformers 2!
this is you
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a 150 minute marathon of Michael Bay masturbating onto the screen. It would have been more appropriate if it was called “CGI Effects: Revenge of the Loud Explosions, slow motion shots of Megan Foxes boobs, Macguffins, motion sickness inducing circle pans of Megan Fox, running, shouting, running and shouting at the same time, bad dialogue, slightly offensive jokes that are about as funny as getting punched in the stomach, bad movie clichés, tits, ass and characters that have as much personality as my blow up sex doll I keep in my closet (for the companionship)”
But I guess that doesn’t roll off the tongue as well, also it probably won’t be able to fit onto a poster.
Unfortunately, this movie isn’t the exception to the rule, if I had to guess what Hollywood think the movie watching audience consisted of it would be, 13 year-old sexless boynerd that has not developed emotionally from burning ants with a magnifying glass and has not had sustained interaction with the opposite sex.
It is a downright insult and I’m sure that I’m not alone right? RIGHT?
Oh crap. 4/5 stars based on 583 user reviews on yahoo?
Here only got 2/5 stars?
That’s It! I now repudiate any connection to humanity, if it means being associated to people like the incoherent spaszoid fredericklewweilong who writes:
This is Cybertron!!!
by fredericklewweilong on 17/07/2009
What I loved most: This year the Best of The Best movie ever!!!
What I really hated: none
This 2rd Transformers movie have finished Optimus have defeated The Fallen but Megatron & Starscream have escaped. The new 3rd Transformers movie will have Unicron the planet-eating, Unicron is a planet-sized Transformers which eats other planets Wow, Megatron will rematting to Galvatron, Air Craft Carrier and will have a lots of new robots both Autobots and Decepticons don't foget to surport Transformers movie!!!
Great. Awesome . Illuminating. Numinous.
Well if anyone wants to join us, some friends and I are going to colonise mars. It’s gonna be sweet, we are going to have movie night every Tuesday, next week is Citizen Kane.
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