Ou es les toilettes?

Ahh… Dearest reader(s) it pains my heart to have to say this but there is just no way around this, so I’ll just have to say it.

I- I am leaving.

Oh god, stop crying it only makes it harder than it already is.
It has been a pretty good time living in the pimple-of-the-earth country of Singapore and I am really going to miss it.

Here I received an education that shaped me into who I am today. I’m not sure I like my shape though, it’s too lanky. People pay attention not to walk into me because they are afraid they would break me. My arms are of the size that I can intimidate an infant. Hmm I guess I got a bad deal out of the whole education thing. Oh well, my narrow frame meant that I had to compensate in other areas like having a better vocabulary than most. I know words like Septuagenarian.

Heh, bet you looked that up in the dictionary.

Pfftt.. I suppose that’s not very impressive. Christ I’m so pathetic, why doesn’t anyone like me? I am really starting to suspect the efficacy of slitting your wrists to get more attention. Haha, I’m kidding, I don’t slit my wrists, that’s just stupid. I just drown my sorrows in lemon tea until I pass out from water poisoning. Hey did you know you could get high if you smoke lemon zest? I didn’t think so too.

Huh, you know now that I think about it, I don’t really have anything to miss in Singapore, it is where my two friends are, and that’s about it really.

Bah, so it is with a not so heavy heart that I’m leaving this country.
So its au revoir from me. (that’s Spanish for good riddance)

Oh well, see you in two weeks.

[ergghh this isn't particularly funny or well written, hopefully I'll get my groove back after taking a vacation.]