How to win friends and be popular

Guess who's back, bitches!
I mean that of course in the most respectful way.
The way of a pimp to his hoes.
(Where Ma Money Bitch)

I'm just kidding, but seriously though if I could get some form of reparation, that would be nice. I mean it doesn't even have to be money. Expensive gifts would also be greatly appreciated, i really wouldn't even mind if it wasn't expensive you know?
Some home-baked cookies. A card? all it takes for that is some paper and a writing implement and something nice to say.

If you don't have paper you could write it in the sand then use a digital camera to take a picture of it and send it to me. Wait I guess that's not as easy as getting a card. Or just a simple "thanks" would do you know? I don't care if you shorten it to "thx" too, I promise.
Oh god, I have no friends all I have is this stupid blog nobody reads.

Arrrhhhhuhhuhuhuh (that's me crying by the way)

If this update has made you feel guilty, ashamed, remorseful and generally an all-round asshole, you can alleviate those feelings by referring people to this magnificent blog and raising its readership. Then when this blog becomes really popular you can boast to your friends that you were the first few readers of the blog, while the writer gets all the hot chicks and not give half a damn about you.