To quote the great philosopher, Gregory House, “Don’t blame me, blame my gender”.
Also it appears that porn clogs up the arteries of the internet and by downloading porn we are actually preventing it from getting a heart attack. He’s a doctor you know? He knows these things.
Ever since that first magical moment when some guy who just happened be in possession of a camera told some naïve, credulous broad that ‘it would be fun’, ‘it’s only for his own use’ and the classic ‘everyone is doing it’, accidentally left the pictures on the table when his mates came over for whatever ancient people played - golf probably – and commented that they would pay to see more, the porno industry never looked back.
Wankers across the world rejoiced at finally having a substitute to jerking off to statues of naked women and nudie paintings hung in museums. No longer is wanking off to depictions of naked women exclusive to the wealthy or shameless. This new medium also had the advantage of being portable, which single-handedly solved the criminal wave of people moving sculptures and paintings into museum toilets.
Why do you think so many sculptures are white. Think about it.
Yet despite its burgeoning popularity and later advancements in technology such as video and the internet further improving its penetration in market share. Porn was always tied down with the issue of the quality of its content. Few other products this popular actually require the consumer to manually finish the task that porn is supposed to do.
It cannot be denied that pornography retained its stranglehold over the masturbating market, however it has hardly evolved. There isn’t an appreciable difference in the ability to arouse the customer in a porn film made 30 years ago and one made just yesterday. This is largely due to the generally unrefined tastes of the human weener.
Weeners are Sexy!
Perhaps it is precisely that reason that pornography struggles with quality. People are so easily gratified that there never was much impetus to improve or make any effort.
It seems all you need to qualify as a porn star is a dick, boobs or a vagina and a willingness to get naked. The acting in particular is horrible, stilted delivery of lines, a tendency to overact, worst of all actors frequently break the cardinal sin of film, YOU DON’T LOOK AT THE FUCKING CAMERA.
Although even the greatest of actors would not help your film if it was written by mentally impaired, 12 year olds that learnt to write from watching reality TV shows.
It seems pornography suffers from the lack of quality because it is being made by people who are as emotionally mature as its audience. In no situation would the referring to CPR as ‘Cute Pussy Revival’ be considered humourous and witty, except in the retarded fantasy land that only exists in the mind of a porn writer where a woman’s response to every sentence is to spread their legs.
In spite of this, pornography has been for so long a loyal and dependable companion to countless adolescent boys discovering their sexuality, and it can continue to guide generations yet unborn. But it is also sad to see that most that grow up abandon and disclaim any association with pornography, like a son sending his parents to an old folks home to live out the rest of its life lonely and unloved.
It is just despicable, outright deplorable and downright disgusting.
Nobody pay attention to the inevitable questions about the state of the author of this article’s mind that he cannot watch porn without stopping to make a comment about how ridiculous the plot is, how unconvincing the actress’ performance is and how the cameraman obviously dropped out of cameraman school.
Well that’s it, if you will excuse me, I have some porn to download, you know, civic duty and all that.
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