I … OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?
Man, was I wrong when said that the holidays had a way of wearing down one’s mind, I hadn’t been in school proper for 8 months when I said that. Now I take it back, nothing could be as stultifying as school.
Education is important to the healthy development of any person, of that there can be no argument, but after a certain point, education (especially in Singapore) becomes less involved in learning than the programming of students to perform a specific function.
And it is debilitating to the other functions of the mind like writing interesting blog posts and imagining convoluted and improbable situations in which a really sexy women would want to have sex with me.
In any case here is an update to test the boundaries of tastefulness.
“Houston, this is Challenger we are strapped in and ready for lift off, over.”
“Very good, we should be commencing lift off in T-minus 5 minutes, it is a beautiful day for a launch, we wish you all the best in the mission ahead.”
“Yes, it is really nice weather for lunch isn’t it?”
“Yes I suppose so Bob, but I don’t think that is what he was referr…”
“Yep, really nice weather and I’m getting kinda hungry too, I didn’t really get breakfast, you know what with getting into this suit taking me all morning.”
“What are you talking about you had the most to eat out of all of us.”
“I don’t like that tone, mister, nosiree, you know we had this thing called respect for your elders back home. I think it would do you wonders to get acquainted with that concept, Jim.”
“Look I’m sorry, it’s just we really have to focus on the launch and …”
“Oh lunch! Did I tell you that I’m starving, I’m pretty sure there is some packets of onion rings left.”
“This is mission control is there a problem? We are picking up a lot of chatter.”
“Nope we are all set, it’s just Bob would like to check up on the O-rings.”
“The O-rings shouldn’t be an issue we’ve had many successful launches without any complications.”
“No, you misunderstand, that was just a joke, Bob says he is hungry, look can we just get on with the laun…”
“What’s that Jim? You talking to mission control, oh did you tell them about lunch, man my stomach is really going now, you know I remember we packed some O-rings.”
“The O-rings are fine Bob, no need to worry.”
“Christ, I’m starting the launch, do we have an all clear?”
“Lunch? I…”
“ARRrrrhhhh… 321 go!”
“Soooo… when’s the food gonna be served on the flight?”
“Bob, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but if you are going to continue like this I’m going to have to stab you in the face with this pencil.”
“Ok ok, sheesh.”
“I could really go for some Onion rings now, man crispy, golden fried batter and the warm moist center. Hey have you ever wondered why so many Onion rings don’t seem to have any onion in them?”
“GODDAMNIT if you want the onion ring so much go freaking get it!”
“Alright no need to shout dude. You know what you need? Some onion rings. I’ll just put some more in for you.”
“Wait what are you doing the microwave can take so ma…”
“Oh my god, Challenger do you read me?”
“It’s no good, Mike, they’re gone.”
“But what could have caused this? What am I going to say when their Wives and Children ask me what happened?”
“Well, it sounded like they had some trouble with O-rings.”
Ba Dum Tish
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