They want to be the object of desire. They enjoy the warm touch of the undivided attention of healthy, fit, young men.
They like being showered with gifts for no reason.
They become moist at having the power to so completely entrap somebody with their charms that no amount of rejection could shake their prey’s obsequious fawning. They want to be wooed with ridiculous, expensive ‘designer’ chocolates and flowers that impress more with the price tag than with fragrance and beauty.
It makes their legs wobble, their knees tremble, lips pursed, quivering with the effort of forcing down a moan, toes curled in ecstasy, hands grasping tight to a satin bedsheet.
Too bad, I’m not a girl then.
You see, I am currently pursuing a diploma in an engineering field, and that apparently makes me completely, lip smackingly, finger lickingly, hands reaching into pants-ly IRRESISTABLE to the Singapore Armed Forces and its various divisions.
This casts me as the pretty, innocent girl that everyone wants to fuck and the army as the creepy stalker guy that sends letters inviting me to his house, ‘just for a talk’, written on paper that was once soaked in his urine, in this awkward and slightly uncomfortable rom-com play. Which is quite a change for me since it is usually the other way around.
Admittedly, it is a little underwhelming when you finally realise that the creepy stalker was also stalking other girls at the same time.
Even though you would never in a million years willingly engage in a conversation with the guy through a telephone even if it was to buy the latest overpriced slippers, you still find yourself feeling a little, just a little, cheated. Then you feel confused about your emotions, maybe, just maybe, hypothetically, you actually kinda, sometimes liked the attention. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad just to have a little chat.
And that’s how they get you. I, however do not fall for such emotional manipulation because I can see it a mile away, also because that’s how my first two relationships started.
I have to admit though they are getting pretty clever about what they send you in the mail now, besides the glossy pamphlets and promise of food of course.
But Business Cards? Hah! Who still uses those things, ever heard of a mobile phone? keep up with the times air force. Above all my arse.
Guess what I got from the navy? A little blue plastic submarine!
It actually sinks and surfaces just like a real submarine! You put a bit of baking power in a chamber accessible by removing the part on the top with the three pointy outy things and put it in a bit of water and it floats and sinks all by itself!
Baking Power not included.
The only way this could be more awesome was if the submarine was yellow.
And if I could have gotten it to work properly.
This almost makes me want to join the navy. Now if they send me some chocolate as well. Or better yet, put both the submarine and the chocolate in some amusing egg-shaped packaging, Man I would join the navy in a heartbeat.
Look how clean my floor is!
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